Quality Assurance

Quality Assurance

That's right! We spread our nonsense, because we care! And we care even more to check the quality.

In order to achieve accurate & exact results, we have implemented high alien technologies, along-side typical microscopic research and ultraviolet brain-storming.
Our devoted, pink-eyed, 5-legged, mohawk, monkeys have been utilizing extra-terrestrial mechanisms in sensing and anally-probing our site visitors and readers, for quality assurance purposes. And the results are HAWT! But first, we'll demonstrate how this alien technology works, for you, our dear reader, to feel comfortable and for us to comply to our unwritten policy of "Total Transparency." (Heh, get it?)

[NOTE: Click on links (underlined) to view related pictures]

I) Staff Selection:

• Select only the elite
  
• Train them with super-Oxford-college material
  
• Convert the evil ones into platonic and rational ones
  
• The final elites are ready to Peel 'n Slip (i.e., anally probe you)
  
• Queue into practice-field

II) Applying Technology: Overview

• When a viewer first comes, s/he is checked whether s/he was a newbie; If so, a dedicated monkey is attached to this visitor. (usually they volunteer!)
  
• During your sleep, our monkeys receive instructions to analyze your thoughts through anal probing.
  
• Collected data is thoroughly analyzed and then reported back to WB.
  
• With the help of advanced monkey chemistry, WB converts the collected data into Human readable formats and compiles the charts.

III) In-Depth Technology Application:

• A collection of specific monkey-balls is inserted into you.
  
• To further insure proper insertion & probing, the balls are further stuffed inside.
  
• A big shaft is then inserted, anally, and oozy green slime is pumped to establish necessary connections.
  
• Data is then transmitted through high-quality pipes (directly connected to your rear) to data-centers.
  
• Pipes are secured with special equipment, before data transmission commences.
  
• Data-centers suck the data and the above mentioned elites dive into you for a closer look.

And now, we present our over-all collected data chart-results: WE HAVE FULL CUSTOMER SATISFACTION! In fact, our website is getting 300%+ hits per day.
Since we have one reader and the rest are our staff of monkeys...
 (Full customer satisfaction!)



A Final Word:

Thanks for visiting our website, if this is the first time you are here, don't fret, A dedicated team has been dispatched especially for you, our new reader, and should be currently hovering around you waiting you to sleep. They shall commence anal-probing as soon as you fall to sleep; Injections of certain dreams will be administered, so as to test the quality of .... you.

Please, our dear reader, attempt run not. You can never escape, simply because a monkey is attached to you as soon as you started looking at our page and that particular monkey has special genes that function as a beacon, sending signals to our H.Q. locating our "beloved" readers.

WB, with love.